Baby days I’ll miss you…

Today I wanted to share my heart on the days of babies, the long days that seem like years and the years that seriously seem like I just blinked my eyes and have an almost 4 year old, a 2 year old and an almost 6 month old. I think about the days that have passed and gotten us to these ages and seriously just become a sappy mess of tears and sadness because these days are passing wayyyy too quickly, yet my heart is so happy!

Since I was little I remember being so in love with everything “baby.” I was the little kid who had the real car seat, stroller and swing for my baby dolls. I couldn’t use fake diapers or doll clothes, I wanted everything “real” and my mom tells me stories how I used to ask her if we could “take that baby home” when I saw babies in the store! I’m sure that totally freaked some people out! ha! I just really wanted to have a little baby to take care of and I truly think back to those moments and now know that it was because my true calling in life was to become a mommy and even my little girl self knew the calling God had for my life! My goodness it’s even more special than I even imagined!

I try not to be sad over my baby days coming to an end but I feel like that part of my life is closing and I can’t help feel a little emotional. I know there are amazing days ahead and lots of fun to be had but a part of my heart is just sad (thankful, but sad) I’m sure I’ll be one of those people who just always longs for more babies, and like my husband always tell me “be thankful babe, thankful that you have had 3 great pregnancies & 3 beautiful babies” and I know he is right, but all of you mamas who truly love the “baby days” know my heart here…

I try so hard to keep those first memories fresh of all 3 babies being laid on my chest and feeling their tiny little warm bodies against mine and remembering how my heart felt, how that extreme love came over me, the kind where it hurts! You love them SO much and don’t even know how to process how your heart has just been taken over by something so small that you just met!! God truly out did himself with the gift of life & parenthood!

Also I feel like I owe my body a huge “thank you!” A thank you for protecting & holding my 3 biggest blessings and growing them into the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen in my life! A thank you to keeping my health so that I am able to enjoy my babies growing up. Growing tiny humans can’t be easy and I truly feel so thankful for this beautiful phase of my life and have enjoyed every moment of it, even those long days that feel like years! I know some of you are probably reading this thinking “she still has babies!” I realize that I’m still in the baby years but my husband and I have decided that our family is complete so knowing that I will never experience another pregnancy, hear a tiny heart beat for the first time, have another set of “first kicks” or have another “first kiss” to a tiny squish is hard for my mama heart to take! But I’m placing my achey emotional mama heart in God’s hands and knowing he will comfort me and make this transition in to the next phase of life a great one! So to all of the mamas who are struggling with closing this chapter of your life, I feel ya, its hard, but its life and we can’t have #allthebabies so for now I will go snuggle my little babes and soak in everything I can!! (After I clean my face and pull it together after crying all over my keyboard!!)

Bailey

2 comments

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